I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
