I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
