i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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