so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize