what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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