you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
