what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
try to milk me bitch
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