You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
