Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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