Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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