Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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