btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
