Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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