I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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