i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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