He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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