If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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