We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
