He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
