I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
