She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
