It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
