I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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