thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
