Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize