You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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