When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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