She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
