I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
