I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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