Texts From Last Night

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  (409): View more from Texas

  i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.

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  (409): i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24. http://tfl.nu/ryw9
  Replies (40) Good night (1127) Bad night (4060)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?

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  (215): Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam? http://tfl.nu/4s96
  Replies (30) Good night (3960) Bad night (743)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (6188) Bad night (721)
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  (310): View more from California

  Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

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  (310): Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused. http://tfl.nu/xlj4
  Replies (17) Good night (1158) Bad night (5325)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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  (847): We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty. http://tfl.nu/2pem
  Replies (13) Good night (3645) Bad night (1009)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  (781): the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator http://tfl.nu/8mwn
  Replies (32) Good night (12192) Bad night (1349)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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  (740): he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero. http://tfl.nu/6a8a
  Replies (10) Good night (3584) Bad night (1080)
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  (619): View more from California

  Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.

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  (619): Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell. http://tfl.nu/xu8z
  Replies (10) Good night (5775) Bad night (1019)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.

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  (513): We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game. http://tfl.nu/pari
  Replies (22) Good night (2587) Bad night (957)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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  (773): NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU. http://tfl.nu/h1az
  Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (962)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.

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  (603): Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket. http://tfl.nu/e8ax
  Replies (4) Good night (2070) Bad night (700)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.

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  (206): Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats. http://tfl.nu/azi3
  Replies (12) Good night (524) Bad night (999)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.

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  (832): The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded. http://tfl.nu/wqyp
  Replies (1) Good night (847) Bad night (1143)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.

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  (717): By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting. http://tfl.nu/zbal
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (415)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.

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  (301): You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins. http://tfl.nu/7khe
  Replies (4) Good night (201) Bad night (654)

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