There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
