I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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