i don't like sucking hair
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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