She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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