OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
