i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
