No stitches, just platelets and will power
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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