Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
