You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
