Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
