Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
