yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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