There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
