Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I'm really busy with my period
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