the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
