i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
