I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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