He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize