last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
