I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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