Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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