ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
