it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
worst night to have a conscience
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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