your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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