whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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