Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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