Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
