They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
