btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
