About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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